Jokes About Animals read this.......

A man walked into a pet shop and said,
- "I'd like a puppy for my son."
- "Sorry sir," said the store owner, "we don't do part exchange."

A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a blood on his mouth. They ask him where he got the blood. He asks them,
- "Did you see that tree back there?"
- "Sure," they reply.
- "Well I didn't!"

- My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do?
- Take his bike away.

Advert in a newspaper: Big dog for sale, eats anything - fond of children.

A frog telephoned the Psychic Hot line and was told,
- "You are going to meet a beautiful, young woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog said,
- "That's great! Will I meet her at a party?"
- "No," said the psychic. "Next term - in her biology class."

Lightbulb a positive story

Working on the mental ward can become a little hectic - but this doctor knows how to take everything as it comes. During his usual morning rounds he stopped by the two top patients that act the strangest.

He found Patient his first patient sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Next to him was his friend who was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked the first patient what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor than asked why his friend was hanging upside down. The patient replied, "Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices that his friend’s face is going all red.

The doctor asks than asks the patient, "If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself."

To which he replies, "What? And work in the dark?"