Do you know all about April 1?
Yes, I'm fooly aware of it!
What's the difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool's Day?
On one you're thankful and on the other you're prankful!
Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
Because they've just finished a long March!
What's the best day for monkey business?
The first of Ape-ril!
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !
Who invented fractions ?
Henry the 1/8 !
What does "Minimum" mean ?
A very small mother !
What does "Maximum" mean ?
A very big mother !
What's the difference between an American student and an English student ?
About 3000 miles !
What sleeps at the bottom of the sea ?
A kipper !
What's the nearest thing to silver ?
The Lone Ranger's bottom !
Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich ?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking !
What kind of biscuit would you find at the south pole ?
A penguin !
What is a skeleton ?
Bones, with the person off !
What is "out of bounds" ?
An exhausted kangaroo !
What is the most slippery country in the world ?
Greece !
What might you eat in Paris ?
The trifle tower !
If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five ?
Nine !
Who was the best actor in the bible ?
Samson, he brought the house down !
What kind of fish can't swim ?
Dead ones !
What do golfers use in China ?
China tees !
What is the strongest bird ?
A crane !
What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea ?
It gets wet !
What do Scotsmen eat ?
Tart'n'pie !
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !
Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you ?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back !
Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !
Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age ?
Pupil: The sausage !
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !
Teacher: You new here aren't you, what's your name ?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
Teacher: I'll call you Fred Smith then.
Pupil: My dad won't like that.
Teacher: Why is that ?
Pupil: He doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my name !
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses ?
Because his class was so bright !
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher ?
He couldn't control his pupils !
Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to ?
Pupil: Nobody I know !
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Do you Know? if not learn
Silly Answers
Q. What washes up on very small beaches?
A. Microwaves!
Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?
A. A hole!
Q. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?
A. The road!
Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. Take away their chairs!
Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A. The scientists were brainstorming!
Q. Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date!
Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A. Hi Cliff!
Q. What did Pooh say to his agent?
A. Show me the honey!
Q. Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
A. Because he was sitting on the deck!
Q. Why did the traffic light turn red?
A. You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A. I think I'm coming down with something!
Q. What do lawyers wear to court?
A. Lawsuits!
Q. What breaks when you say it?
A. Silence!
Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A. Because then it would be a foot!
Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. A garbage truck!
Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A. Post Office!
Q. What did the blanket say to the bed?
A. Don't worry, I've got you covered!
Q. Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A. To draw the curtains!
Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A. One! After that its not empty!
Q. What kind of button won't unbutton?
A. A bellybutton!
