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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Do you Know? if not learn

Do you know all about April 1?
Yes, I'm fooly aware of it!

What's the difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool's Day?
On one you're thankful and on the other you're prankful!

Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
Because they've just finished a long March!

What's the best day for monkey business?
The first of Ape-ril!

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !

Who invented fractions ?
Henry the 1/8 !

What does "Minimum" mean ?
A very small mother !

What does "Maximum" mean ?
A very big mother !

What's the difference between an American student and an English student ?
About 3000 miles !

What sleeps at the bottom of the sea ?
A kipper !

What's the nearest thing to silver ?
The Lone Ranger's bottom !

Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich ?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking !

What kind of biscuit would you find at the south pole ?
A penguin !

What is a skeleton ?
Bones, with the person off !

What is "out of bounds" ?
An exhausted kangaroo !

What is the most slippery country in the world ?
Greece !

What might you eat in Paris ?
The trifle tower !

If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five ?
Nine !

Who was the best actor in the bible ?
Samson, he brought the house down !

What kind of fish can't swim ?
Dead ones !

What do golfers use in China ?
China tees !

What is the strongest bird ?
A crane !

What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea ?
It gets wet !

What do Scotsmen eat ?
Tart'n'pie !

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !

Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you ?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back !

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !

Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age ?
Pupil: The sausage !

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

Teacher: You new here aren't you, what's your name ?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith

Teacher: I'll call you Fred Smith then.
Pupil: My dad won't like that.

Teacher: Why is that ?
Pupil: He doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my name !

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses ?
Because his class was so bright !

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher ?
He couldn't control his pupils !

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to ?
Pupil: Nobody I know !

Silly Answers

Q. What washes up on very small beaches?


Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?

A. A hole!

Q. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?

A. The road!

Q. How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs!

Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A. The scientists were brainstorming!

Q. Why did Tony go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date!

Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A. Hi Cliff!

Q. What did Pooh say to his agent?
Show me the honey!

Q. Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q. Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I'm coming down with something!

Q. What do lawyers wear to court?

Q. What breaks when you say it?

Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!

Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!

Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
Post Office!

Q. What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don't worry, I've got you covered!

Q. Why should you take a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains!

Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
One! After that its not empty!

Q. What kind of button won't unbutton?
A bellybutton!

How a Son / Daughter thinks of his / her Daddy at different ages.

At 04 Years: My daddy is great

At 06 Years: My daddy knows every body.

At 10 Years: My daddy is good but is short tempered.

At 12 Years: My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.

At 14 Years: My daddy is getting fastidious.

At 16 Years: My daddy is not in line with the current times.

At 18 Years: My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.

At 20 Years: Oh! It is becoming difficult to tolerate daddy wonder how mom put up with him.

At 25 Years: Daddy objecting to everything.

At 30 Years: It is becoming difficult to manage my son I was scared of father when I was young.

At 40 Years: Daddy brought me up with so much discipline even I should do the same.

At 45 Years: I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.

At 50 Years: My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up I am unable to manage a single son.

At 55 Years: My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us.

At 60 Years: My daddy is great.

Thus it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st stage………..

Have You Thought of it!


If you can’t be a pine on top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley – but be
The best little scrub by the side of the hill,
Be a bush, if you cannot be a tree.

If you cannot be a bush, be a bit of the grass
And some highway happier make
If you cannot be a Muskier then just be a bass,
But, the loveliest bass in the lake!

We cannot all be captains; we have to be crew,
There is something for all of us here,
There is a big work to do and there is lesser to do
The task we must do is the near

If you cannot be a highway, then just be a trail
If you cannot be the sun, be a star;
It is not by the size that you win or you fail-
Be the best of WHATEVER YOU ARE.

By Douglas Malloch (American Poet)


01. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK If some one is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone unkind….I will not respond in a like manner.

02. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY “ENEMY” If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly. I will quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand the “enemy” could be family member, neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger.

03. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not spread gossip.

04. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.

05. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE I will forgive any hurts or injury that came my way.

06. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE, BUT I WILL DO IT SECRETLY: I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.

07. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED I will practice the golden rule – “Do unto others as I would have them do unto me” – with everyone I encounter.

08. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRIT OF SOMEONE! DISCOURAGED: My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to someone who is wrestling in life.

09. TODAY I WILL NUTURE MY BODY I will eat less: I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body. 10. TODAY I WILL I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY; I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational today: I will find a quite place (at some point during the day) and listen to God’s voice!!!


Forget the negative and put your trust in the positive. When your senses are engaged on goodness, then you will create light and fragrance, when engaged in impurity you create smoke and darkness. A man who possesses cheerfulness my not utter even a word, but those who come into contact with him, mark the lines of goods spirits on his face and this brings happiness on their faces also. In order to make man acquire other virtues, he has to be taught, but the quality called cheerfulness travels of its owns self to his face and gets possession of him. I often wonder why I struggle, why I fight to live but then, I find the milky white moon standing amidst the sky, I watch each little star turn darkness to light. Then I learn the greatest truth that all mankind ought to see, that by living I give to the word what it has given to me.


01. He is well informed on local and world affairs.

02. He is courteous, unselfish & friendly – gets along well with others – is a good neighbor.

03. He is sincere, dependable and takes an active part in the religious Community of his choice.

04. He appreciates what others have done for him & accepts responsibility for the future betterment of his community.

05. He is fair & just in his relations with others.

06. He obeys the laws of his community & the nation.

07. He votes regularly & intelligently at election.

08. He is interested in the freedom & welfare of the entire world’s people.

09. He is productive & renders worthwhile service

10. He sets a good example to the youth of his community.


* Self Command To turn on a day when it begins.
* Self Discipline To turn it off when it ends.
* Courage To accept a challenge.
* True Grit To preserve.
* Determination To what others think is impossible.
* Admiration Of the good wherever it is found.
* Will To change what should not be accepted.
* Adjustment To accept that which cannot be changed.
* Knowledge Of self and honest to face it.
* Friendliness That causes a dog to wag his tail.
* Gentleness That beckons a child to turn after you.
* The Joy That comes from glass of cold water, a delicious meal and a Good bed.

Know more about men

01. Men are like…………Bank Accounts,

Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest

02. Men are like……….Commercials

You can’t believe a word they say.

03. Men are like………Floor Tiles

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years

04. Men are like………Chocolates Bars,

Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your lips

05. Men are like………Coffee

The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

06. Men are like……….Blenders

You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

07. Men are like……….Coolers

Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere

08. Men are like……….Copiers

You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.

09. Men are like………….Government Bonds

They take so long to mature

10. Men are like……….Newborn Babies,

They’re cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their crap


The art of conversation is to be prompt without being stubborn : to refute without Argument, and to clothe great matters in a motley garb. By: Disraeli.

Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affection, free from indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. By: Shakespeare

The best evidence of your culture is the tone and temper of your conversation. By: Granville Kleiser.

A single conversation across the table with the wise man is a worth a Month’s study of books. By: Chinese Proverb

The great gift of conversation lies less in displaying if ourselves than in drawing it out of others. He who leaves your company pleased with himself and owns cleverness is perfectly well pleased with you. By: Breyere.


Protects & Cares for you…….. Like a Mother. Takes Responsibility & Decisions…….. Like a Father. Gives Reassurance & Support…… Like a Grand Father. Brings a Smile on Your Face……. Like a Friend. Guides you about your Health……… Like a Teacher.

Conclusion : you now I am also Doctor, because I was making all of you Laugh. So I am a Doctor without a Degree

A very intresting love story.

I think all of you knew this love story, if not please enjoy by reading this

Love story :
Hero loves heroine , but heroine loves the villain. But villain loves hero's sister,and hero's sister loves heroine's brother. Here, heroine's brother loves villain's sister. But villain's sister loves hero's brother. Again!, hero's brother is also interested in heroine , and you alredy know that heroine loves villain.

Finally 2 people commits sucide.

Who're they?

Producer and the Director

Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery


* Has anyone seen my watch?

* That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.

* Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

* Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?

* OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

* Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

* Come back with that! Bad Dog!

* Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

* Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingies

* If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.

* Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

* Damn, there go the lights again...

* Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.

* Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

* Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

* I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

* Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

* Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?

* What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!

* What do you mean, he's not insured?

* This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

* Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

* Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

* What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

* I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.

* Let's hurry; I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"

* That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?

* Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.

* Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?

* Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!

* FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

The husband store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Idiots on the computer

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told "Egghead" was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a "cup holder"?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

Another well-known one that I can add is the true tale of the user who called up complaining that the instructions said to load the four diskettes into "Drive A" but he couldn't possibly get more than two in.


• You say you Love me. However, sometimes you do not show it.

• In the beginning, you could not do enough for me. Now you take me for granted.

• May be, when I am gone, you’ll appreciate me and all the things I have done for you.

• I am responsible for the food on your table, for clothes you wear and the home you like.

• I have kept quiet and waited to see, how long, it would take you to realize, how much you really need me.

• Cherish me…. Take good care of me…. And I’ll take good care of you


ANSWER: I AM your Job.

30 Definitions of Marriage

1. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can’t face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the “Y” becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

22. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


25. WIFE: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN’T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

Stupid questions and great answers

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Monday, November 19, 2007

56 Messages to send Birthday Wishes

  1. May today be filled with sunshine and smiles, laughter and love.

  2. May the best of your wishes be the least of what you get.

  3. Happy Birthday to someone who deserves a truly happy day.

  4. You think you're special because its your birthday today. That's complete nonsense... you're special every day.

  5. Hope you have the greatest Birthday ever!

  6. May all your dreams and wishes come true!

  7. Just like fine wine, you grow better with the years.

  8. May this year be your best ever.

  9. Have a wonderful day and fabulous year.

  10. Hope your birthday is just the beginning of a year full of happiness.

  11. Hoping your wishes come true year after year.

  12. Wishing you all the best in the year to come. May your days be filled with sunshine and beautiful colors. And may your nights be filled with comforting dreams and wishes to come.

  13. Your birthday only comes around once a year so let's make today a day to remember.

  14. Wishing you all the best on your special day.

  15. Today is a gift of life, today it's your birthday.

  16. Lot's of people are thinking of you on your birthday; I just wanted to let you know I'm one of them. Have a wonderful day!

  17. May the best of your past be the worst of your future.

  18. May your birthday be filled with excitement, joy, and laughter.

  19. On this special day, I just want to say Happy Birthday.

  20. Don't count your years for we all know you're one year older than last year.

  21. Best day ever: (MM/DD/YY)

  22. Birthdays Mean: cake, presents, wrapping paper, money, clothes, friends, partys etc. What more could you want on your birthday?

  23. Although I can't wish you a happy birthday in person; I will spend the whole day with happy thoughts of you.

  24. May your special day be filled with memories and flowers, friendship and happy hours.

  25. Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.

  26. Cake...

  27. Eat a little

  28. Eat a lot

  29. Eat untill you have to stop!

  30. You're older today than yesterday but younger than tomorrow, Happy Bday!

  31. Wishing you all the best for your Birthday.

  32. You're not xx years old, you're xx years wise.

  33. Best wishes on your birthday and throughout the coming year.

  34. Wishing you good health and happiness in life.

  35. So on this very special day

  36. I would like to say to you

  37. I hope you'll always find happiness

  38. In whatever you may do.

  39. May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shining dreams.

  40. You're not xx years old, you're xx years young.

  41. Wishing you many more good and prosperous years.

  42. Wishing you another wonderful year of happiness and joy. Happy Birthday!

  43. The more candles, the bigger the wish.

  44. Smiles and laughter, joy and cheer

  45. New happiness that stays throughout the year

  46. Hope your birthday brings all these and more

  47. Filling life with surprise and joys galore!

  48. I hope that for every candle on your cake you get a wonderful surprise.

  49. Wishing you a very warm Birthday.

  50. Happy Birthday and many happy returns of the day.

  51. A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

  52. I hope all your birthday dreams and wishes come true.

  53. Not just a year older, but a year better.

  54. Wishing you a Happy Birthday and many more to come.

  55. Here's to another year of experience.

  56. A simple celebration, a gathering of friends; here is wishing you great happiness, a joy that never ends.

cool Public Speaking : Humor Delivery Tips

**Never ever tell a public speaking joke on stage that you haven’t practiced in real life about a thousand times. You don’t go into a fight without training…or sending someone for you…why go on stage without testing your material? (And no, you can’t send in a pinch hitter!)

**Minimize your amount of movement when telling a joke. I like to pause at important points for emphasis.

**Explain actions or mathematical equations…but NEVER EVER explain a joke! If the crowd doesn’t get it move on! And make a note to keep that one for your friends who will pretend to laugh to make you feel good. Ha!

**Memorize a punch line! Your public speaking joke is not going to seem funny if you have to stop, pull out an index card and be like, “Oh, ya, here it is…”

**Which reminds me, don’t let your audience know the punch line is coming. It’s called a punch line for a reason! And use the fewest words to get to is. Brevity is clarity!

**And lastly, and most importantly, don’t repeat a punch line. There’s no point, the joke was already made! Move on! The only time this can be acceptable is if the public speaking audience doesn’t laugh. Then later you can make fun of yourself for it, but only then!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Friendship Quotes for every one in this world...

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out

Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends।

A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself।

Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art।

Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life।
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life।

Definition of true love and orignal love is this......

Nurse: “It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80’s, presented to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb.
He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I (nurse) took his vital signs and had him take a seat,knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. Asked him if he had a doctor’s appointment this morning somewhere else, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.
As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him. “And you are still going every morning,even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled as he patted my hand and said. “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
Good friends are like stars…You don’t always see them, but you always know they’re there…..

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

INDIA children's day

Children's Day is to celebrate "childhood". On Children’s Day tribute is payed to all children in the world. Children are loved by one and all. They win over our hearts with their angelic eyes and innocent smiles. It makes one realise that maybe that’s the way God wanted us to be.

India's first prime minister, Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, was born on November 14. After his death in 1963, his birthday has been celebrated as children's Day in India.Children's Day is not just a day to let the future generation have its say. It is a day to remember a leader who, in his quiet but determined way, laid the foundation to convert a nascent nation into a world power.

But why Children's Day? Apart from being known for his skills as a statesman, Nehru was also immensely fond of children. The more popular and famous of Nehru's pictures show him with children.

In all the photographs Nehru's joy at being with children is apparent. When he is not sharing pleasantries

with them, the expression of intense concentration as he listens to them reveals his commitment and attitude to children. Children to Nehru were little adults in the making.Nehru, to children, is never the Indian political leader and prime minister. He is always Chacha Nehru - Nehru Uncle.

Children's Day is celebrated all over India, especially at the school level. There are also community activities with stress on children's involvement.

The story also goes that he started to wear a rose on his jacket after a child pinned one on it.The national children's centre, Jawahar Bal Bhavan, is also named after Jawaharlal Nehru. Children's Day is literally that. It is the day when children all over the country are pampered with goodies. From the schoolchild's point of view, the best thing perhaps is that it is a special day at school - they need not wear uniforms and are given sweets.


Most schools have cultural programmes for the day, with the students managing it all. All over the country, various cultural, social, and even corporate, institutions conduct competitions for children. Children's Day is a day for children to engage in fun and frolic. Schools celebrate this day by organising cultural programmes.Teachers of the school perform songs and dances for their students. Various competitions like quizzes, fancy dress competitions, elocutions are organised on this day. Children are also treated to a movie and lunch.Television networks have in the recent years started to air special programmes all day long for kids on November 14, making this day a special treat.

Children's Day in Japan:

National Children's Day in Japan is known as Kodomo no Hi. It is celebrtaed on May5. The family celebrates the festival with Kashiwamochi (rice cakes filled with red beans and wrapped with oak leaves) and Chimaki (rice cakes wrapped with bamboo leaves). According to the Kodansha encyclopedia, the origin of the festival was from China in 839. On May 5, Chinese people hang medical herbs from the eaves of the roof in order to repel disease. When the custom came to Japan, people used Shobu (irises) instead since irises were believed to repel evil spirits. During twelveth century, the custom was influenced by the warrior class. Since another meaning of Shobu is victory or defeat, the practice of giving little boys kites with pictures of warriors on them were spread in Japan. In the Edo period (1600-1868), streamers with pictures of carp were presented to boys. Recently, many families live in apartments not houses. They display samll carp streamers or Kabuto at their homes because of limited space.

Must Remembering Mother's

There's no greater time when we remember our moms than the back to school time. Right before school starts we know that mom's have to run to the back to school sales to get our supply of notebooks and packages of loose leaf papers. We're constantly in need of new backpacks, pens, rulers, erasers and other bunch of stuff that we might or might not use during the school year.

And of course the hardest is for those of us who are going away to college for the first time. We know that nothing can compare mom's cooking. So here's to mom's out there from us going back to school -- we're going forward but looking back to you...

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