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Monday, February 4, 2008

Can Tiger Woods be stopped?

It may be a new calendar year. With his dominating victory in the season-opening Buick Invitational, though, Tiger Woods showed everyone nothing has changed on the PGA Tour.

He is the best -- and second-best isn't even in the same zip code. So, the talk of a Grand Slam by Woods has already started.

So, what can be done to stop Tiger? Here's a list of ideas.

  1. Make Tiger carry his own bags.
  2. Notify Woods whenever his baby daughter needs a diaper change, and require that he do it himself.
  3. Set up 'Tiger Tees.' Allow everyone else to play from 25-30 yards closer to the green.
  4. Hire the heckler from 'Happy Gilmore' to go around from hole to hole hurling insults at Tiger.
  5. Make him add two shots to his total for every round -- call it the 'Tiger Handicap.'
  6. Make him play left-handed.
  7. Since we already have him carrying his own bags, only let him carry half the number of clubs the rest of the players are allowed to have. See how brilliant he is then.
  8. Adjustable cups. When it is Tiger's turn to putt, replace the regulation cups with ones half the size of what the rest of the players use.
  9. Place obstacles such as pebbles or small change in the path of his putts.
  10. Hope Woods gets bored and decides to take up baseball.

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